Kate (aida_melodica) wrote in obsessive_love,

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New to the community

Hi, my name is Kate, and I am a newly discovered love addict. I picked this group because a major factor of my personality is that I can be very obsessive and also compulsive at times, but I haven't been clinically diagnosed with OCD.

I'm an abuse survivor and although I am in a safe environment with my family, I still have bouts of depression, feeling lost and unsure of myself and others. I was in a long-distance relationship between September 2003 and... well, it started going downhill in January and we were off and on until a few weeks ago, maybe a month, I forget, when we had our final call. His two other ex-girlfriends were love/sex addicts and I gave myself confidence, I thought I could be better than them and it turns out I'm just the same, even worse because we were so far away from each other and he also didn't have the brains enough to know how to open up and love. He's a 10-year-old trapped in a 30-year-old body and I'm so torn on whether I should just let that pass or sit in longing that maybe he'd change and maybe he'd move here because I was the best he ever had and I'd have him back and we'd work through everything together. I was ready to move on, but now I'm so afraid of trust, I'm even afraid to trust myself.

Ok, I'm sorry for the long rambling intro, but I'm also venting some frustration since I tried to join a support site and I don't think I got approved for the workshop. Feel free to add me to msn messenger if you have it so that I can get some real live support and perhaps learn to trust again.
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